Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
