Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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