By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize