Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize
