he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
