ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
