i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
