By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
