Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Randomize
