Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Just pee around me
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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