either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Are we still banned from the library?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
