We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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