There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
my liver is dry heaving
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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