no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
