...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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