the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
