Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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