what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
