mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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