woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
