Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I puked a lego.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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