I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Randomize