i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I am naked and annoyed.
Randomize
