I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
