that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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