whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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