We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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