She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
