found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
