Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize