"it" just moved
After last night, I could never be a politician.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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