Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
