You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize