and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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