New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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