So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
