I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize
