Moan for me like Helen Keller
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
