Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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