was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
