i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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