Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
