i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
you traded sex for a burrito?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I am one with the molecules
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize
