What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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