I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
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