Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
found the other keg... it's in the tree
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
