worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
