Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
