Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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