well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Edward fifth and chaser hands
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize
