I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
