So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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