why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
