you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
