He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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