Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
