i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Randomize
