Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Boobs speak an international language.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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