youre lurking in front of me
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
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