She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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