No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
