He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
