I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
