careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
