we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
MIDGETS
????
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
