phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
