the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
