i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
