he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
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