Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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