do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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