We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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