i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
