sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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