Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
