hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
