come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
