I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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