Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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