My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Did you just see the Batmobile???
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
