If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I look excited, but its just a facade.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
