so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
