lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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