so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I got inside last night via doggy door
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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