They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Randomize
