her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
