Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
